You guys do know you could have just used stock photos, right.? Why would you hire Alexis Bledel at the height of her Gilmore Girls fame to appear in a photo for three seconds? And Wilmer Valderrama wasn't exactly an unknown, either. And, although they only ever appear in a goddamn picture, the Zenith team are played by some pretty huge-name actors. The general plot is that, 30 years ago, there was a team of young heroes called the Zenith team who fought evil together, but one of them - this movie's villain, Concussion - turned to the dark side and attacked the rest before being banished to another dimension or something stupid like that. Like I mentioned, Zoom features a bunch of kids with superpowers. Why does 3% seem so much more pathetic than 0%? I don't know. It got a three percent on Rotten Tomatoes.
While Sky High was well-received by everyone and could probably be called a cult film today, Zoom, as I mentioned, didn't fare nearly as well.
Both movies featured songs by Bowling for Soup. Zoom: Academy for Superheroes came out in 2006 and was generally regarded as the vastly inferior stillborn twin of Sky High, another semi-parody about superpowered kids that was released a year prior. I think I'm going to watch this again and love it. Sure, I hated it in 2014, but today? A schlubby Tim Allen barely giving a shit or earning his paycheck, blandly and annoyedly reacting to all kinds of weird superhero shit happening around him? Courteney Cox as an eccentric scientist who can spit rainbows? Superpowered children teaming up to torture Chevy Chase? Awful special effects? Genuinely the weirdest plot of any superhero movie I've ever seen? Cringeworthy humor? A "training montage" where everyone just stands around trying to dodge paintballs? A 3% rating on Rotten Tomatoes? And, terrifyingly, I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm going to end up ironically loving it when I do rewatch it. So I thought I'd redo it.Īny problems with this? Well. It points out a lot of things I thought were wrong with this movie, but it doesn't go as in-depth as it should, it's not funny, and - of course it was published in 2014 - it's terribly written. So much that in 2014, I wrote a brief, but decidedly revolted and hateful, review of it. I grew to hate this movie, really hate it, deep in the marrow of my bones. And yet, I don't know why - maybe because I was a masochist - I would watch it again as a kid, and again, repulsed and fascinated.
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